How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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