508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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