A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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