I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
