After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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