I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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