Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
