Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
