Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
