Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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