I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
