Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
