On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
