I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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