my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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