I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
