we were pretty classy up until the second keg
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
