Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
