I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
