i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
