Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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