I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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