What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
