i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
