peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
