YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
