His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
