I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Terrible idea I love it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
