I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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