Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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