Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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