Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
