no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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