do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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