whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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