turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
