separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
