Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He felt like a one man threesome
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
