the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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