I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
