At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have peed in a lot of sinks
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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