she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
