He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
