I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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