hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
