she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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