I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Too much gin, very little bucket
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
