is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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