she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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