Only a mothe r could love this liver
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
