she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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