i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
