the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
