In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
